-Everyone else does -Only one person ever plays a human per party. -Once you enter a cave all the dwarves and elves and half-orcs run off into the darkness and have pillow fights and play truth and dare and do other cool things. -Meanwhile you’re sat there with a torch. -The GM just has you go sit in a room outside while they and the non-human party members all describe themselves having a fun time. -Occasionally they lean out and say “you still only see darkness, so you know” -Then they go back in the room. You can hear dance music. When the GM opens the door you can see strobe lights and glitter. Sometimes they’re holding a slice of cake. -You never get any cake.
My point is I should have darkvision because then people will invite me to their underground nerd parties, which I feel is a perfectly reasonable position.
-Mod Pencil
brb stealing this for the Campaign for Fewer People Getting Darkvision
if half the nonhumans *also* lack darkvision, darkness continues to be meaningful
D&D 5e PHB People with Darkvision:
– Dwarves (Because mining?)
– Elves (Because Elves are Better Than You)
– Gnomes (Because enough of them have gone “ooh what’s that” and blundered into the dark that natural selection has happened)
– Half-elves (Because even half an elf is Still Better Than You)
– Half-Orcs (Because idk orcs are good at it for some reason?)
– Tieflings (Because they don’t have weird eyes just for show)
People Without Darkvision:
– Halflings (Because fancy burrows are well lit and they’re basically small humans anyway)
– Humans (Because Humans are Boring)
– Dragonborn (Because idk it’s not like dragons can see well oh wait)
Yeah. Less Darkvision please. Potentially go back to 3.5-style low-light vision as well if you want to give as many people *something*, as long as they actually need a torch (and the sorceror accidentally setting the dungeon on fire, while it means there is plenty of light, does not count)
I’d like it if low-light vision was brought back, and instead of darkvision, elves, half-elves, orcs, and half-orcs have low-light vision, and yes some humans too depending on how accustomed to the dark they are.
Low-light vision doesn’t mean “any dark area within a certain range actually turns grayscale.” it means you can go in the dark without bumping into things and read in dim light. Darkness still looks like darkness but you can make some shit out. Or maybe you do need at least one source of light to make out anything far ahead of you but you just see dim outlines.
Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.
“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”
“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”
“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”
“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”
“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?” *indistinct vocals* “Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”
“Have you tried closing your spellbook and then opening it up again?”
– eyeballs are an eyeball width apart – ears align with the top of your brows to the bottom of your nose, and are the center-point of a profile view – lip corners line up to the center of each eye – hands are roughly the size of your face – feet are the same size as your forearm – elbows are aligned with your belly-button – your hands reach down mid-length of your thighs – both upper and lower legs (individually) are roughly the same size as your torso (this is all rough estimates for proportion! feel free to add more to help others)
YOU ARE A FUCKING SAINT
– the length of your legs + feet is about the same as the length of your torso + everything above it
– collar bones extend directly from the shoulders
-wrists align with crotch
-Hands are the size of your face, forearms are about the length of your head!
-the distance between your clavicle and nipples typically creates an equilateral triangle
-from the bottom of your nose to your chin, it’s not the line of your mouth that’s halfway, but the bottom of your lower lip
-your knuckles are about halfway from your wrist to your fingertips
-the first joint of your fingers is about halfway from knuckle to fingertip
-the second joint of your fingers is about halfway from the first joint to your fingertip
-the second joint of your thumb (closest to your fingernail) meets at about the same level as your knuckles.
-halfway between your chin and the crown of your head or the hair whorl is your hair line, assuming it is not receding
-the corners of your eyes to the center of your lips creates about an equilateral triangle
-the edge of your nostrils lines up with the inner corners of your eyes
*takes notes in order to create suitably monstrous and disturbing proportions*
Remember these are guidelines more or less, not rules. For example my ears go from the middle of my eye to my upper lip. This is especially important to note when making non-European or non-European looking people. The propotions taught in art schools and books are very Euopean biased.
ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO OWN ANY PHYSICAL COPIES OF ANY RECENT VIDEO GAMES
Ever look at the cover art of your case and think “wow this looks super generic and uninspired”?
I’ll use Doom as an examlpe:
FANTASTIC game. SHITTY cover art. Looks like a cod clone.
A lot of games suffer from this,
HOWEVER
recently I’ve noticed that many games have a little secret inside the box…
You see, on the inside, when you open the case, some of these titles will have an alternate box art!
Simply open the case, *carefully* pull out the paper…
And on the other side…
:O
Now doesn’t that look like a much better representation of what playing DOOM is like!?!? The best part is theres no mountain of text on the back, the art just keeps going!
Best DOOM cover ever.
Other examples include Final Fantasy XV, The Last of Us, The Evil Within, Fallout 4, etc.
Not all of my games had this, but the ones that did had such cool art. I love the lack of “advertising text” on the back. Some of the alternate box art just paints a scene from the game so well you dont even need the title to know what it is.
Reblog to save a life! You might have some badass alternate box art in your games and you just never knew it 😀
Moonlit Spires 