When Ash first realized his feelings for Max, he felt so disgusted at himself.
For years, his body had been broken, violated and never his. Men took from him simply because they could and didn’t see nothing more than a little boy with beautiful jade eyes.
Yet here he was, falling so damn hard for a man that was twice his age. For a man that reminded him of so many others that had hurt him. What sense did that make? Especially when Eiji, who’s been nothing but a blessing to him, was right there?
No, that wasn’t fair. Max was good to him in a lot of ways, just like Eiji. He’s held a gun against his head yet he understood and gave Ash the space he needed.
Was an idiot? Of course. But he never hurt Ash. Never looked at him like he wanted to devour him whole and make him scream. Max was loyal. Max was kind. Max was protective and understanding.
And Ash loves him.
When he confessed to Eiji about this, because he needed to tell someone, he had been so sweet about it. Confused but understanding. He told Ash that he wasn’t broken and that he trusted his judgement. Eiji knew he wouldn’t gain feelings for someone if he felt like they were untrustworthy. It helped Ash feel a bit better about his emotions.
Yet there were still days, just like this one,where his thoughts attacked him.
Disgusting.
I can’t believe I feel like this. What’s wrong with me?
Max would hate me.
God, what did those sick fucks do to me? Am I broken?
“Hey, kid you okay?”
Startled out of his thoughts, Ash turned to Max and let out a snort of laughter. The goof was still wearing that awful fake mustache.
“Of course I am, Pops. Not my fault I actually use my brain more that once a month like some people.”
“You little shit-! You know what, fuck you. Can’t believe I was worried.” Max swore,marching ahead of Ash. The blonde boy laughed and jogged to catch up.
“C’mon, Daddy don’t be mad.” Ash teased, his tone a touch flirtatious. After all, there was no one around so it wouldn’t be suspicious. Max flushed considerably and choked on his spit. “I am nowhere near old enough to be your damn dad.” Max protested. Ash simply shook his head with a chuckle and the two continued to walk in silence.
As the comfortable silence continued, Ash allowed himself to dream that maybe what he felt could be mutual. That Max would take his hand and just hold him.
It was a silly dream but one that made him happy.
The world at least owed him that damn much.
Suddenly, an arm was slung around his shoulder and pulling him close. Ash looked up at Max confused. Max seemed pretty surprised himself and gave Ash a sheepish smile.
“Whatever you’re worried about, don’t stress over it. You’re smart and you’re strong. You’ll figure it out.”
Flustered, Ash turned away with a pout. “Sentiment old man.” He scoffed before softening his tone. “Thank you.” He whispered and Max grinned at him. Then, to Ash’s shock and delight, Max pressed a kiss to Ash’s forehead that lingered a bit too long. Then the sensation was gone and Max was floundering around.
“Alright! Let’s go, we’re almost back home! Gotta get ya back to Eiji, hehehe.” Max said, removing his arm and walking ahead briskly.
Ash just pressed a hand to his forehead. He should really invest in some lip balm, Ash thought absentmindedly but deep down he knew he wouldn’t trade that brief moment for the world.
“Kid, c’mon!”
“I’m coming, jeez!” Ash yelled and ran to catch up. He would have to talk about this with Eiji later.
Maybe his feelings weren’t so unrequited after all.
lmao i still don’t know how to make pictures not giant so i’m cheating with this dumb format
another thing i couldn’t get out of my head. the contents of those speech bubbles are spoiler-y! if you don’t wanna see that, fill ‘em in however you like!
Parental: Jim Callenreese. It’s hard to place this man as someone who loves Ash, but when it comes down to it, he did love him. Though, he often went about it the wrong way and he has done things that are not redeemable, he does love him.
Familial: Griffin Callenreese. Griffin loves Ash, this is a given. He often writes him and from what is said by Max, he probably talked about him quite a bit as well. Nadia loves Ash like a brother, she does at some point say this. Max, his love for Ash resembles a more fatherly type of affection as the series goes on.
Platonic: Shorter met Ash in reform school, Ash was only fourteen at the time. During his time there with him, he learned a little about Ash and Ash learned a little about him. Shorter grew to be Ash’s closest friend.
Eiji: Eiji has his own category of love for Ash. It is often hard to tell if his love for Ash is platonic or romantic or if they merely overlap. Sometimes it seems as if they are seen as lovers (by outsiders) and as best friends (by themselves)
Hate: This one is more of a theory but what made Arthur hate Ash, and it is possible, that at some point he loves Ash? Is it possible that he still loves Ash, even when he was dying? There’s no telling really, he seemed to hate him but certain things about his way with Ash could almost be seen as flirting.
Pity/Empathy: Blanca does not appear to pity Ash, but some of his gazes towards Ash hold pity in them. Empathy, why would Blanca feel empathy towards Ash? That’s simple. He could very well see himself in Ash, someone who has been given a fate that they cannot shake. Blanca was unknowingly someone who crashed into Ash’s life and made himself part of it.
Respect: Sing Soo-Ling earned himself Ash’s respect, through a series of situations where he proved himself worthy of Ash’s trust. He forced himself into Ash’s life because of his want to kill him in return for Shorter’s.
I’m being late again oh gawdddd. Last Sunday, 3 of my kittens suddenly got sick, we did our best but sadly on Monday, I lost the 2 of them, then on Tuesday, yesterday, I lost the last one. So only now I got to do this, sry for the lateness everyone.
Eiji: What is that weapon called?
Sing: It’s called “Hiryuuga” (straight translation: Flying Dragon Fang). With this long wire you can wrap it around the enemy and restraint, tighten it up, and you can even use the pointed tip of the blade to stab.
(I wonder if the wire he uses for his weapon is actually fishing line for fishing rods, coz fishing lines are pretty durable and strong, plus it can be kind of invisible.)
Eiji: Wow that’s so cool! Just like a ninja!
Sing: Hm-hmm, well that’s coz I even try it out/ practised it out (straight translation: researched/study) with our boss.
Eiji: With Shorter?
Sing: But at first it didn’t go well, Shorter’s hair would get tangled together and pulled out/plucked out.
(Now I know how he got bald fast. I’m so sorry Shorter.)
Eiji: Ahahaha!
Sing: Also/and, there were also a time when I swing, suddenly the blade pierced into boss’s head.
(NO WHAT THE FUCK)
Eiji: Ee…Next time on Banana Fish, “The Garden Of Eden.”
(Yes Eiji, I feel you. Like really wtf)
Sing: But boss’s head looked pretty target-ish right?
(No Sing. Really just no.)
Eiji: ..Aha…haha….(^_^;)
Changes may be made to this translation. Do check out @coba-banana2translation too, this user even got the whole kanjis with her/his translations!
Moonlit Spires 